The conscience of a 3-year-old

Uncle A discovered D pulling the leaves off a potted plant.
A: "D, are you supposed to be doing that?"
D: "No."
A: "Then why are you doing it?"
D: "Because Bubbie's not watching!"

Good old Mommy

Aunt I was in the car with K & D, waiting for their mother to come out of our house.
D: "Where's Mommy?"
I: "She's in the house."
D: "Where's my other Mommy?"
I: "Your other Mommy?"
D: "My old Mommy!"
I: "Your old Mommy? Who's that?"
D: "Bubbie!"

(I reported this conversation to her sister, who said, "Maybe my mother has been spending too much time with my kids...")

A big help

D called me on the phone. "How's your Pesach cleaning?"
"It's good," I told him. "How's YOUR Pesach cleaning? Did you help Mommy clean?"
"Yes," he answered.
"How did you help?" I asked him.
"He replied, "Daddy took me to the zoo!"
I'm sure that was truly more helpful than anything he could have done at home!