Camping out

My grandsons and I slept outside in the tent last night. In the morning, I asked D, "What sounds did you hear when we were in the tent?"
He said, "I didn't hear any sounds!"
It's true, he did fall asleep pretty quickly, but even while I was reading to them before we turned off the flashlights, the crickets and the cicadas were nearly deafening. But he apparently didn't notice anything.
Later I asked K what sounds he heard.
He just rolled his eyes. "Crickets, cicadas, airplanes, cars, trucks, trains, car alarms, fire engines..."

Creative accounting

T: Can I have a cookie?
Me: OK
T: I want 2 cookies.
Me: No, just one.
T:(after 2 or 3 minutes of kevtching, eats the cookie.) Can I have another cookie?
Me: No, I told you you couldn't have two cookies.
T: But I don't want two, I only want one!

She needs proof!

Their mother was in labor, so we took the kids to the park when she and Dovid went to the hospital. A few hours later, their father called to tell us that that the baby was born--a boy! His big brothers were appropriately delighted, but T was busy playing in the sandbox so we didn’t say anything about the baby until later, when she asked, “When is Mommy coming home?”
I told her that Mommy was staying at the hospital for a while because the baby came out of her tummy.
“No it didn’t!” T insisted.
I guess she’ll just have to see the evidence for herself when Mommy comes home.